Love is what you make it

alone

Happy Valentine’s Day! At least, I hope it is a happy one. I hope that you have someone to love, and someone who loves you. That doesn’t necessarily mean romance, by the way. Just that you care about each other–relatives, friends, lovers, it doesn’t matter, and it’s none of my business. But I wish something good for you.

Love has gotten so complicated, because we have decided that we have the right to judge who someone else loves, and how. It doesn’t have to be complicated if we recognize another strong American value: minding my own business.

I’m not trying to tell you how you should live, including whether you should judge other people. I’m just observing. I have noticed that whenever I judge someone else, God has a way of letting me see what it is like from the other side of the fence.

I’m not preaching. I’m just talking about what works for me. I have enough to take care of just minding my own business. Because I care about you, I hope that you have someone to love, and someone who loves you. I don’t want to know the details about how. I don’t care if you and your opposite-gendered friend are romantically involved or not. I don’t care if you and your same-gendered roommate are platonic or not. I just don’t want you to feel alone, isolated, side-lined.

I hope your kids still talk to you. I hope you and your sister have gotten past the mistreatment you gave each other when you were kids to now appreciate the treasure you are to each other. I hope there is someone who smiles when you walk in the room.

If you feel sad because the one you loved is gone (for whatever reason), I am sorry. But I am glad that you have known love–you can’t feel loss without having known the blessing. If you have not yet known that blessing, here’s one of the few things I know and would recommend to you: stop looking for love. Just give it. You can’t find it until you stop looking.

As C.S. Lewis once said, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.”

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Author: Donn King

Donn King works with individuals and organizations who want to forge top-notch communication skills to increase their influence and impact. He is associate professor of speech and journalism at Pellissippi State Community College in Knoxville, Tennessee, as well as a speaker and writer. His background includes ministry, newspaper, radio, small magazines and other publications, as well as co-authoring a textbook and blogging.